Women Talk as Understood by Men

  1. FINE. A word used by women to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up
  2. FIVE MINUTES. If she is getting dressed, that means one-half of an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
  3. NOTHING. This is the calm before the storm. This means something  and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "FINE".
  4. GO AHEAD. This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It.
  5. LOUD SIGH. This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to#3 for the meaning of nothing).
  6. THAT'S OKAY. This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistakes.
  7. THANKS. A woman is thanking you. 'Do not question or faint'. Just say you're welcome. (That is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "You're welcome" - that will bring on a 'whatever'.)
  8. WHATEVER. Is a woman's way of saying 'Disappear mate!
  9. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I'VE GOT IT. Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For woman's response, refer to #3.

Source: Brisbane Circle magazine